JESUS PAID IT ALL

              Loving Father, Once I believed You as a God of Great Power, I had great desire to be your beloved one. The more fiercely I tried, the more miserably I failed. I loved You so much and I didn't want to lose You. I tried harder and got frustrated. I feared I may lose You. I began to feel I am not worthy to have Your love. You are my God, but I never understood you fully.

          I cried for forgiveness every time I sinned.  I prayed, "excuse me for this one time", again and again.  I never realized Your love. I tried really hard to be Your most beloved son like Jesus Christ, but finally ended up pleading You to consider me at least as Your worst son. I couldn’t confirm that spot either. I started cursing myself for not having enough qualities to be your son. I tried to hide from you and lived an anonymous life. I lived pathetically like the prodigal son, who lost everything that his father gave him.

Luke 15:11-32 (New International Version)

     The Parable of the Lost Son

 ¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

   ¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

   ¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

   “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

   ²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

   ²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

   ²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

   ²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

   ³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

          I never realized your love for me. All I thought was about my love towards You and how I miserably failed to love you truly. I never knew you were searching for me.

          When I went to college, I began to feel lonely. I missed your love desperately. I was trying to substitute your love with your gifts, especially my family and friends. Now I was far away from them, I had nothing left. Now I could feel the pain of the Prodigal son. Even now I never realized You were eagerly waiting for me.

          When there was no other go, there was only one thing I could try. Try to win back the lost love You had for me. I am so sorry Dad for trying to earn your love. I was so stupid to believe that I could  pay for something so precious and unlimited.

          You took me in without a word. At times I wondered, “Why is God so calm and not angry at me ?. I am here not because I love Him, But because I had no other go. I had to search my old broken love out of desperation. May be that broke His heart and so he is not so satisfied with me. I sworn  to  myself to earn back my love.” Little did I knew then, that I never lost your love to earn it back, and You were rejoicing and was throwing a big party in Heaven to celebrate my return. I am so sorry for not realising your love. Even now I know that you wont be expecting an apology from me. I feel like saying it and I am happy to say it ! Hallelujah !

          You embraced me through the Holy Spirit whenever I prayed alone. I felt happy and like I am not alone. This was the first time I felt your love in my life. Your warm embrace was  everything I needed then. I thought that it was more than enough and I was not worthy of getting more from You. Yes I was right about my worthlessness. But I forgot about your generousness and mercy. I failed to realize that I am nothing in myself and I am everything in Jesus. Jesus paid for my sins in the Cross. So within Jesus I am worthy of receiving your Righteousness, mercy, grace, love, health, wealth, Prosperity and Everything. Thank you Jesus.

2 Corinthians 12:9

      But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

John 3:16 (NIV)

    For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

    I was surprised to see the Church near our new room, when we shifted room, the church, that I have only heard of until then. I knew you took me there on purpose, but couldn’t believe so. My faith was so weak then.In the Bible, 'Faith' is some thing, that Jesus expected from His disciples; Jesus was delighted to see in someone; and something that prevented Him from performing miracles to those who had none.

Jesus Raises a Dead Girl and Heals a Sick Woman.  Mark 5:21-43

      ²¹ When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. ²² Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet. ²³ He pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” ²⁴ So Jesus went with him.

   A large crowd followed and pressed around him. ²⁵ And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

 ³⁰ At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked,“Who touched my clothes?”

 ³¹ “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

 ³² But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. ³³ Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. ³⁴ He said to her,“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

 ³⁵ While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?”

 ³⁶ Overhearing^[c] what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

 ³⁷ He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. ³⁸ When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. ³⁹ He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” ⁴⁰ But they laughed at him.

   After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. ⁴¹ He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). ⁴² Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished. ⁴³ He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this, and told them to give her something to eat.

Matthew 8:24-27

      Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.

The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"

He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"

Mark 6:4-5

      Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor."

 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.

                I believed you can do wonders, because You are the Lord who created the Heaven and Earth, but I was not sure whether You would do it for me. When I tried to believe so, Devil put one of his powerful lies in my mind, “Who do you think you are ?”, which was more than capable of shattering my faith. I began going to church, I felt happy to be with a bunch of people who had enjoyed your love in one way or the other. I felt like I belong there and it boosted my faith a lot. I began to go to church for more than twice or thrice in a week, some days in the early morning when everyone would be sleeping and some days in the evening when everyone would be chatting around, the two most interesting moments that I would love to be in. I loved you more I guess. Within Jesus, life became more perfect, When I asked for few more friends, you blessed me with plenty. With sweet family and friends to share your love and blessing. My faith grew stronger. I realized that, "My faith in God, not my righteousness, makes me His most beloved son :)".